Committing Myself (Vyaspuja offering to HH Radhanath swami Maharaj)

Dear Srila Gurudeva 

Radhanath Swami Maharaj,

I feel myself completely unqualified for the mercy you shown on me by accepting me and connecting me to the glorious brahma madhwa gaudiya sampradaya. I and my devotion are utterly insignificant compared to devotion of all the stalwarts in our parampara and I am immensely humbled but grateful and fortunate to be given chance to be part of this parampara.

I commit myself to represent you properly as an insignificant attempt to repay what you have given to me.

I beg your empowerment to accomplish this task which is so difficult for my unruly and unholy mind.

Recently I read whatever is against the vedas is a sin in an ordinary sense and in pursuance of pure devotional service whatever obstructs it is a sin. I am attached to many things or sinful activities (by above definition) which are obstructions in the path of pure devotional service.

I beg to suffer reaction for the sinful activities I would do as a proper treatment for my rectification.

I pray to remember my faults and mistake while happily accepting the reactions and sufferings. I pray and beg to get determination to at least then purify my heart and overcome those attachments.

Recently I heard your class and after hearing you, I decided not to give justifications for anything.

Even externally following this principle has made me introspective to work upon myself than to just pass on the responsibility to others. I beg your mercy to even able to internally apply this principle to the deepest core of my heart.

I thank you for your wonderful discussions on Srimad Bhagavatam. You seem to relish every bit of it. And in your chanting and your kirtans you seem to completely push yourself.

I beg you drop of your love for Krishna and Srila Prabhupada.

Please let me humble servant of servant of your servant,

Yours insignificant servant,

Toshan Nimai Das.

Monkey Renunciation

Monkeys live on trees in jungles and they don’t have fixed habitat. They remain naked surviving to bone chilling or scorching heat seasons and eat only leaves and fruits. These seem to be qualifications of great sage who has forsaken the world for spiritual elevation. But monkeys fight badly for finding mating partner and they have relationship with multiple of them.

Monkey renunciation term is used for the people who focus on external facade of renunciation without cultivating their hearts to be free from malice, lust and envy. When testing time comes, these people fall victim to temptations like hollowed out tree falling on slight wind force. A qualified renunciate is one who is engaged in the service of the Lord, only for His pleasure, all the time without any personal motives, may that person be a householder seeming to be engaged in worldly duties or monk in a monastery. External manifestation of renunciation is just a part of it for those who are already in renounced order of life to remind oneself of duties of this order and others for taking advantage of these people.

Off-course nothing is impossible for Lord, by the grace of the Lord even a monkey can be renounced. Lord showed this with an example of Hanuman. The most honored devotee of the Lord in the form of monkey. He was not only a renounced celibate but his sole pleasure was in the pleasure of the Lord. By blessings of Hanuman and following his footsteps even we can come out of our monkey renunciation tendencies and develop a real substance.

Following your footsteps

Dear Radheshyam Prabhuji,

Dandavat pranam!

All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga!

I am greatly privileged to wish you on your appearance day.  Recently I read one passage from Srila BhaktiSiddhant Saraswati Thakur in folio vedabase. It greatly reminded me about your role in my life.

“We always need ideal examples. If we don’t associate with Vaishnavas who are fixed at the spiritual master’s lotus feet, attached to chanting the holy name, and fixed in the Lord’s service, we cannot ourselves become fixed at guru’s feet. We cannot learn to consider the spiritual master our well-wisher. We cannot understand that the spiritual master is as good as God. We cannot develop the tendency to serve the spiritual master. If genuine devotees who are fixed at the guru’s feet teach us neither how to serve the spiritual master nor how to behave when we are with him, then even after receiving a bona fide spiritual master we may lose him. We would be losing a coveted jewel if we were bereft of his service.”

-SBSST, Amrita Vani.

Your deep faith and surrender to Gurudeva is our basis for service to him. Maharaj seems quite distant to us. We can hear him but what mood to approach him in our remembrance, understand his message and practically serve him, these things are difficult to understand. But the way you are serving Gurudeva and representing him for us to your best ability is very inspiring and educative to us. As SBSST says if we would not have example like you, we would lose the valuable jewel of receiving such a great personality as our spiritual master and serve him properly. Your selfless service to Gurudeva, is most inspiring thing for me, I see in you.

I find your lectures very nourishing specifically you give in brahmachari camps. Also the japa talks you give in the morning have great philosophical depth. I have started hearing them and I plan to hear them very regularly. After hearing HG Krishnasmaran Pr we were stressed to hear from one person regularly and emulate the example and instructions. I am assured your classes and example is sufficient for me for advancement in this lifetime. But sometimes I am afraid whether in future whether we would be sufficiently close to you to get personal guidance from you in finer aspects of pure devotional service.

Recently I got initiated, earlier HG Premharinam Prabhu and now HG Revatipati Prabhu are very kind to guide my fickle self to properly render devotional service.  Maharaj has given me name Toshan Nimai Das and the word ‘Toshan’ since has become part of my identity, it is more easier than earlier as I was praying to remind myself whether I am doing things for ‘Hari Toshanam’ or not. I sincerely plead to you to please bless me to be able to remember and do things for the pleasure of Nimai or Lord Krishna. Anartha, aparadhas, sometimes doubts cover me but with the help of your association and blessings, if I properly apply, I am sure I can overcome these.

I pray to Krishna to bless you with very good health and bless us with your continued inspiring association.

Slumdog Millionaire

Do you remember  the movie Slumdog Millionaire which won academy award for best picture. It pictured story of Jamal, his prodigious journey from poor slumboy to a millionaire. I am feeling same kind of feelings of being unworthy recipient of causeless mercy on receiving intiation by HH Radhanath Swami in spiritual line of glorious Brahma Madhwa Gaudiya Sampradaya. 

Thinking of great Acharyas or personalities who have taught principles of spiritual life by their personal example has always humbled me. Where is their level of devotion, finest of character, absolute loyalty and obedience, extreme humility, staunch faith, blissful service attitude and tremendous advancement of the spiritual path and where am I, absolute spiritual pauper being very poor example in everything mentioned above. Six Goswamis of Vrindavan, Narottamdas Thakur, Vishwanath Chakravarti Thakur, Bhaktivinode Thakur, Bhakti Siddhant Saraswati Thakur, Srila Prabhupada and my own spiritual master HH Radhanath Swami, these all personalities have been and are part of this glorious sampradaya. They have set such an example of what a Vaishanava should be, that just by thinking about them makes me literally feel unqualified to be connected to their line.

Through the process of diksa or initiation, predecessor acharyas effectively accept us as their representatives. Especially for initiated devotees, our character and actions reflect in a good way or a bad way upon them. This makes one feel load of heavy responsibilities of being a proper example on one’s shoulders.

I have been offered the spiritual name as Toshan Nimai Das. Servant of Lord Chiatanya who pleases everybody by his extraordinary beauty, qualities, sweetness, service and devotion, Nimai is another name of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu for he took birth under Nim tree). Spiritual name is offered to remind and identify oneself and others of being humble servant of God always.

As this unworthy slumdog has been offered with priceless treasure of being connected to God in intimate chain of spiritual successors, I seek your blessings upon me to be a faithful follower and worthy example of teachings of predecessors. I remain eternally indebted in gratitude for this extraordinary magnanimous offering of enormous fortune.

Dive deep into ocean

Last few months we saw an air of election permeating every nuke and corner of India. Vibrations of political leaders bragging about their postdated bravados and blurting about notoriety of opponents had filled the ether around. The gung-ho servile followers impressed with charisma of such leaders hailed their words and activities. Such high tides of phenomenal mass attention as general election this time, regularly occur in connection with sports, films and social activities. The social media sites, news channels, newspapers and blather going around the corner of house just add to the current of these waves. As the one wave falls off another wave appears to be rising, allowing people surf on it for some time. But such waves do not seem to give fulfillment and satisfaction as much as  the thirsty surfers can not quench their thirst with waters of ocean. There seems to be more and more rise in anxiety, frustration and confusion in world scenario with increasing availability of information, what a great contradiction.

We can resolve this contradiction hearing the sublime words of instructions mentioned in scriptures, meant to give the suffering humanity hope and redemption. The scriptures explain that the cause of suffering of humanity is, it’s misidentification with conglomeration of flesh, bones, skin etc in the form of this body, thinking to be one's own self. The fog of misidentification is densed without shining knowledge about our spiritual nature to be eternal cognitive blissful selves and our relationship with God. Any other type of knowledge which conceals or undermines this fact strengthens our misidentification. When such misidentification becomes from individual to communal, the resultant chaos is obvious which is reflected in terms of enmity between individuals to nations, pretension, cheating, corruption etc.

This fog can be dispelled and chaos can be rectified when we expose ourselves to sunlike God, hear His eternal truthful words given in the scriptures and start acting in the light of that knowledge by keeping those instructions as basis of all our actions. Such actions based on our real eternal nature are known as devotional service.The most amazing thing is one’s even social, political and recreational activities could also be counted amongst devotional service when they are conforming to the instructions of the Lord.  They bring forth oceanic inner joy and satisfaction as reciprocation from Lord, the nectarine natural by- product of devotion. We can ride upon and jump into this ocean of nectar of devotion, ever fulfilled.