A tribute to my mother, Mrs. Kiran Mundada

My mother passed away on 10th of this month, on the auspicious day of Ekadashi, in presence of sincere devotees chanting around, along with my mother's favorite Srila Prabhupad Hare Krishna tune. She had just reached age of 48. She had a colon cancer, detected a year ago.

As my spiritual teachers have taught to me to be grateful. I take an honor to write about my mother who has done unlimited favor on me with giving me birth in this rare human form of life and loving and caring me to her highest extent. To write about her I will go from the present to past.

Two days before she left, Dr. Tulasi (devotee doctor, specialist of palliative care) had come to see her. She asked her about what she would like to say about me. My mother said "We have given this boy to you".
She didn't know these seven simple words are going to inspire me and echo in my ears in all difficult times going to come ahead. I was her biggest attachment and I knew she will never say this. But finally she said it. She had only seen my bad example of devotee before she saw some good examples of Bhaktivedanta Hospital doctors.I couldn't visit home frequently because of job pressure, other many engagements and my dealings at home were not that ideal or responsible. In the end, I am so grateful to her for this charity.
   

My mother while leaving her body

         She had asked me "Whether they will allow me to die in Bhaktivedanta?", just a week before she left her body. I had shown her a video of Bhaktivedanta Hospital and prayed sincerely, 'if she has to leave the body, let it be in the Bhaktivedanta Hospital, which is abode of Lord Jagannath and so many pure souls have sanctified  it with the dust of their lotus feet'. So many devotees were praying for her! All the prayers came true.

       A month ago was Diwali. And my mother was bedridden almost for a week.And she had belly bloated with liters of accumulated ascitic fluid which characteristic of advanced stage of stomach cancer. She would hardly get up.
But she got up on the day of Diwali in the unbeaten spirit of a fighter,as it was difficult for her to refrain from the Diwali Puja ceremony as a dutiful lady. She wore a fresh saree, bangles on her wrists, which had got very skinny because of cancer,and she decorated her with other auspicious articles characteristics of married lady. She performed all rituals and worship that day. I was again inspired, and with moist eyes I uttered in heart, "Bravo!".

Later I requested her to chant, which was difficult for her. She said, she chanted Vishnu Sahastranama in Marathi in morning and meditated on the beautiful form of the Lord mentioned in it. She sang it for me again. As her implanted teeth had become loose so she was stammering like a small child. It was very sweet.

Ever since her cancer was detected and even before that, I was so busy in so many other things, I had not been able to actually look after her very well. The best I could do was to beg as many devotees as possible to pray for her. The day I came to know she had a cancer, it was a great shock for me. I tried hard but I could not stop my tears. I had heard of intolerable pains of cancer and seen few patients.When I heard, the word 'Cancer', first time for somebody so close only resounded as death. It was a total nightmare even I had known the philosophy of Bhagavat Gita, the eternalness of soul etc. and also had taught to so many. She had a very soft heart and skinny body. I was worried, how am I going to see her suffer both physically and mentally. And it was unthinkable of loosing her loving shelter. but her reply was,"Someday anyways we have to die, now or later." She was undisturbed.
       
Much before the cancer was detected when I was in Mumbai, our cook had taken long leave since he was suffering from jaundice. We were cooking lunch and breakfast for lot of people with the assistance of some other friends, along with my job and other preaching engagement. Initially, it went well in enthusiasm. But after few weeks I started frantically praying for cook's return. I was feeling very difficult thing to do but it reminded me of my mother.So many years, month after month, day after day she had served in the joint family. And I don't remember of not getting a lunchbox or not having fresh washed clothes for any single day. She had served her family uninterruptedly withstanding all the personal difficulties. And I never heard any complaints about it from her. I was wondering for years, why my mother would always or at least many times shed tears talking to me on phone?  I got reason, when I would cook and somebody won't get it because of being late, I would feel very bad. In this incident I could understand at least a fraction of heart of a mother.

She was a very chaste lady and supported my father through all thick and thins.My father had his faults and his decisions might not be perfect in everything. But my mother followed him like a shadow, overlooking everything else.And as Srila Prabhupad says, "A submissive wife wins the heart of her husband", my father took care of her day and night during her disease. It gave me inspiration that there might be some problems or faults in an authority but as a chaste lady doesn't disobey  her husband, I should also just stick to service and connection made with parampara in spite of anything else.

When I was in school, one of our neighbors committed suicide. For the first time, I saw a dead-body of a young man so closely. I was shocked! It gave me an impression that my parents may leave me anytime. I was extremely afraid. I would chant for hours names of different demigods and God that I want to die before my parents. I would be counting on names on fingers. I never told this to anybody. later it became too much and I could not continue. But I was very attached to my parents, and especially my mother for her love. And as a child I never wanted to be separated from them.

My mother taught us to embrace high ideals in life. The example she set by her own devotion and the prayers she taught us in childhood, are still basis of my devotional service. Her apparent opposition to certain aspects of my devotional service was because of her love for me, she didn't want to hear criticism about me for those aspects.

When I was leading a funeral march of my mother as only son, I was thinking in my heart what should I give her or what would please her. It revealed in my heart that if I just become humble servant, live a simple life with a simple heart and follow words of Gurudev, then she would be most happy from the sky above or wherever she might be. By this, I can give actual benefit of being a son, if she needs at all.
I am greatly thankful to my mother for everything she had given me.

At the end, following is humble prayer at the lotus feet of the Lord on behalf of me and my family,

Forlorn we are Krishna, to us You please accept
and my mom's eternal soul, I pray, You please embrace.
The love, kindness, care You gave us by giving our mother,
I pray, give same to her, showering Your eternal grace

I pray, I think of You,
as she always thought of me,
I pray, I love You,
as she loved me.

I pray, I see You,
as with full of love, she saw me.
I pray, I accept You,
as in any form she accepted me

I pray, I brim my eyes for You,
as in separation she brimmed her eyes for me.
I pray I strive to please You,
as she strove to please me.

In loving You,
I pray, I send love to her.
and I send my gratitude
as You become the conveyor.

Oh' dear Lord, You are as known
most kind to Your devotees.
to love You freely without any obstacles,
I pray, You grant her this liberty.

In Your love and service when we are engaged,
there is no separation.
I pray, to love and serve You,
You kindly grant my mom & us pure devotion.

Go external Grow Internal

We had a wonderful outing to beautiful farm community-Gokuldham situated near Belgaon. Spreading around 500 acres, it’s lauded for beautiful hills, refreshing water-bodies, grazing cattle and serene atmosphere. What an adventurous experience it was!  2 hours of walking and trekking brought us to a waterfall, very beautiful and highest of that place, from small peak the water was falling in a valley. We decided to trek down and go in the valley to get the refreshing showers of that waterfall.

People go to nature with different motives. We find, some destroy the beauty of places, scribbling on suitable places names of their sweethearts or become intoxicated and go mad. Some click photos to boast to the world of their adventures & to earn "likes" on FB, to receive satisfaction in adoration ,offered for this. Seekers of truth try to reflect on the varieties of the nature and pray for meaningful insights to imbibe in life. For the monk who is partially cut off from the varieties of this world it becomes all the more important to grow internally with maturity, understanding and realization about the external world with variety he sees outside. Such internal growth offers a friendly tool in hours of solitude. It’s a great chance to ponder upon eternal truths taught by the scriptures and try to see the reflection of those truths in the activities of the outside world. Such meaningful contemplation solidifies one’s conviction and offers a practical realization of theoretical things studied in the scriptures. Then whole world becomes like a laboratory.  Off course, paralysis by analysis needs to be avoided. One need not go in so much analysis mode that he loses chance to appreciate booty of splendour planted by Lord in his creation. Like it needs a poetic heart to compose beautiful renditions, it needs a grateful heart tuned with God to get revelations hidden in nature or any situation.

Lord to simplify the philosophy gives examples from the nature, in the revered scripture of Bhagavad Gita.  To quote few examples from it, Lord Gives example of the petals of lotus are unaffected by water to illustrate a point that, how a yogi performing work without getting into any personal attachment is unaffected by sinful reaction. Lord gives example of the tortoise, how a tortoise withdraws his limbs in the face of the danger similarly a yogi trying to control his mind should withdraw his senses from the sense objects. This type of the contemplation, adds to the bliss begotten in seeing beauty of the nature or that situation. Radhanath Swami says that through everything in this world God wants to teach us a lesson, if we have our eyes open then we can learn from each situation. That's how we see in his book too we see. He took lesson of patience from the mongoose; he took lesson of being deeper in life by seeing hock catching a fish swimming superficially in waters etc.

There were lot of rocks around the waterfall. So contemplating on these principles I decided to sit peacefully on the rock meditating on names of the Lord and with a prayer to reveal the message, if any, I am supposed to learn in such a beautiful setting.

drunkards are good (?)

I was in office till late night. It was almost 12:30 PM and I wanted to catch a urgent train to Mumbai. I came out and didn't have much hope getting public transport vehicle and rickshaw at that time & it would be too costly to bear as I had only 100 bucks to travel to Mumbai. I started looking for a hitchhike ride which will drop me near station. But the passing time just increased my anxiety as nobody was ready stop and give a lift to me. But after some time, a person came out of a bar behind my company, he was about to start his bike. I somehow felt that he will surely help me out. And he did, I sat on his bike towards road to Pune railway station. I could smell fro behind, his mouth was stinking with alcohol.

His coming out of bar had given me hope of his allowing me hitchhike ride on his bike as this was not first time that some drunk person had helped me. It had happened many times before. I started wondering whether the drunk people are more generous and helping than the normal ones. Then I was reminded of two Lords, Chaitanya and Nityananda which appeared 500 years ago in the land of Bengal and they were always intoxicated & maddened with love for Lord Krishna. Great acharyas explain, since they were always intoxicated & maddened with love for Krishna, they didn't see any qualification or disqualification in distributing that love of God. And they freely distributed this gift to anyone and everyone, without any consideration of good or bad.

Now somebody may wonder what is this Love of  God. In this world if we see everybody is hankering for some or other thing thinking that it will give him pleasures but that dream seem to be frustrated as soon as we get that thing and we realize,we now want something else to become completely happy and satisfied. Actually, in essence, every body is hankering for endless love and fulfillment but such search is frustrated because anything in this material world is temporary in nature, making it unqualified to fulfill our demand of endless love. God has capacity love endlessly and reciprocate with our tiny drop of love with his oceanic love to completely satisfy ourselves. But that love of God was rarely attainable, it was reserved only for those who have done tremendous physical,mental and intellectual  austerities and completely purified themselves of all the contamination. But Lord Chaitanya and Nityananda in their own intoxicated state of love for God  broke open the jars of love of God for anybody and everybody. By their mere glance, they purified the hearts of all contamination and inundated them with love for Supreme.
Poetry of Sri Chaitanya Charitamrta says

preme matta nityānanda kṛpā-avatāra

uttama, adhama, kichu nā kare vicāra

"Because He is intoxicated by ecstatic love and is an incarnation of mercy, He does not distinguish between the good and the bad."- Chatainya Charitamrita Adi 2.208

 It's said that our all tendencies originate in Lord. So tendency to try to help or willing to distribute our things in state of intoxication with others also comes from the Lord. But in the material world, intoxication with alcohol or drugs or other similar things can make one to forget, only for a temporary time, his claim or stubborn desire of possession & identification with things he possesses. The  help offered in such intoxicated state also, may be more degrading and dangerous than what was originally desired. Also because intoxication in this world only gives temporary hallucination, there is no basis for the behavior one may show, so one may act in violent ways too. Intoxication of this world gives us little high but brings us crushingly down to reality and makes us more miserable. And it limits our help to anybody else.

But in Spiritual realm, intoxication with Holy name keeps us always on high, such spiritual intoxication is not limited by our bodily limits. It takes us more closer to God and brings out from our within, the best of the good qualities and unlimited oceanic love for all. One doesn't have to pay anything for spiritual intoxication. Just by chanting "Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare| Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare ", one can find himself situated in spiritual high.
So I wish you a very Happy Chanting!