Expressions of Superlative Love

Today is Valentine’s Day – the most celebrated day for lovebirds to express their love for each other. Lovelorn majanoos wooing for lailas is no uncommon sight today. In fact, so many love songs of Bollywood sing the story of the unrequited love. And such love stories and examples could invariably be found in every corner of this world. Most Indian movies make their business with story of two star crossed lovers with their feuding families, their songs or soliloquies in separation and ultimately their phenomenal union. No wonder, young lads growing with these stories dream of their Juliets and lasses like Cinderella eagerly await for their princes. And the corporate world is always on their toes for such opportune moments to cash in on people’s emotions by endorsing and promoting days like these (and being a software developer of an e-commerce shop, I can certainly vouch for this!).

Real Love

Sages and seers of truth of various traditions, however, define love as life meant for pleasure of the beloved, unconditionally and uninterruptedly. To quote HH Radhanath Swami – “Love means to serve. And to serve means to please.” It is selfless in nature. Such love reaches its complete perfection when the beloved object is Supreme Lord. In true love, the lover loves not only his/her beloved but everyone else connected to the beloved. When love is reposited in Supreme Lord, such love is naturally manifested for all living entities as they are also connected with the Lord. Because of such love, great prophets like Jesus, Mohammad or my very dear Srila Prabhupada could surpass bodily limits and fight against so many obstacles to express their compassion to all living entities. And there are countless examples of such personalities in every single genuine tradition round the globe.

Mundane Love

But that which is portrayed as love in the modern times is limited to superficial bodily attraction,   and with ultimate desire for consummation (often, in unlawful and irresponsible way). The authoritative scriptures label this as plain lust. There is an easy way to understand this fact. The spoken or written words permeate the level of consciousness or intent of one’s heart. There is no dearth of poems, haikus and messages on love, exchanged between couples on this day. One can easily get a glimpse of the superficiality in the modern-day love from study of these texts. Most of these texts generally speak of selfish desires to be in company of other for some mental or social happiness or gross desire for physical enjoyment (you just need to listen to any bollywood love song to convince yourself of this). Since this blog is not meant for writing movie songs, I would skip citing examples in this regard. Sometimes, passionate lovesick heroes talk of sacrificing life if beloved is not attained. But such frustrated sacrifice of life seems much despicable, when compared to a blissful life of sacrifice for the pleasure of the beloved.

Expressions of Pure Love

To understand the nature of the true love we have to study lives of realized souls in loving devotional service to Lord who were completely selfless and free from any tinge of false ego, their beautiful poetic opuses, written compositions which were realized to them. In my little study of their literature I found it imbued with superlative form of love for Lord, higher than anything seen or heard about love in this world, testimony to their intense feelings of belongingness to the Lord.

 These literature are not just mental imaginations or intellectual juggleries for cheap recognition, but pieces of heartfelt, truthful realizations. Without fail, these texts charm me every time I read them. These literary master pieces have been a great source of inspiration in my spiritual life and it won’t be an exaggeration to say that my devotional life sustains itself thanks to such texts. One can easily understand the depth of their love from their compositions. In comparison to this love (even in textual way), mundane love appears just as broken pieces of glass pales in comparison to diamond.

In essence, if we want to be an actual connoisseur of true love and the associated bliss, we should take inspiration from these realized souls and should not settle with anything less offered by mundane love of this world. For only that can sooth the core most desire of everyone’s heart – to love and to be loved.

(Citing below few examples from such texts), You may comment with similar examples from scriptures which left you inspired.

 “O Lord Hari, it is not to be saved from the dualities of material existence or the grim tribulations of the Kumbhīpāka hell that I pray to Your lotus feet. Nor is my purpose to enjoy the soft-skinned beautiful women who reside in the gardens of heaven. I pray to Your lotus feet only so that I may remember You alone in the core of my heart, birth after birth.”

“My mind cannot turn from Śrī Kṛṣṇa's lotus feet, even for a moment. So let my dear ones and other relatives criticize me, my superiors accept or reject me as they like, the common people spread evil gossip about me, and my family's reputation be sullied. For a madman like me, it is honor enough to feel this flood of love of Godhead, which brings such sweet emotions of attraction for my Lord.”

[ King Kulshekhara, Mukunda Mala Prayers, text 4 and 42]

“O Lord, I am just like a puppet in Your hands. So if You have brought me here to dance, then make me dance, make me dance, O Lord, make me dance as You like.”

[Srila Prabhupada in his prayers on the Jaladuta Ship]

“May I be born again even as a worm, so long as I may remain Your devotee. I have no desire to be born as a Brahma averse to You.”

[Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, in his “Manasa Deho geho” song, from Sharanagati]

 “The Supreme Personality of Godhead said to the brahmana: I am completely under the control of My devotees. Indeed, I am not at all independent. Because My devotees are completely devoid of material desires, I sit only within the cores of their hearts. What to speak of My devotee, even those who are devotees of My devotee are very dear to Me.”

[To reciprocate to love of his devotees Lord says in Srimad Bhagavatam 9.4.63]

The Killer Smile

Now-a-days, I find myself increasingly cautious sending emails or pinging my friends on chat messengers. This is not because I’m worried about privacy or security, but the dangers of misinterpretation. Occasionally, I’ve messed up my relationship with others because of reckless choice of words and inconsiderate presentation thoughts. Written communication is considered to be a serious form of communication. It’s archived, allowing us to revisit it in the future. But it’s limited, since it lacks the aid of one’s body language. Small grammatical or spelling mistakes can altogether change the meaning of sentences. And clarification of the written things may not be asked or available immediately. In the history of Peshava kings in India, a lady, Anandibai, reworded the letter of Raghunathrao, initially bearing the words ‘Narayanrao la dharave’ (meaning ‘capture Narayanrao’) to ‘Narayanrao la marave’ (meaning ‘kill Narayanrao’). This led to the death of Narayanrao. By this, one can understand the gravity of the written communication.

The use of the emoticons and smileys over the internet has really made it possible to incorporate feelings or mood in a few key strokes. They are extremely popular and are literally everywhere. You just can't avoid them. Instructions or critique with a smiley conveys it in a much lighter note, which could have otherwise risked feelings of provocation, enmity or worry. Someone appropriately said “A smile confuses an approaching frown”. You may want somebody to act in a certain manner, but don’t want to push it on him/her. Or you may be unsure about authenticity of what you say or you may want to tell, and at the same time hide, just add a smiley and it’s all right. (These are all the reasons where I used or received smileys in my chat history.) A famous comedienne Phyllis Diller once said “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

On reflecting further I found, in our lives too, there are lot of difficulties, uncertainties and ups and downs, which can make us completely hopeless or pessimistic. But the Lord has a unique plan for each one of us. When in my life I came across such things and went to Lord to complain or to get a justification, I was disarmed by the sweet smile of Lord, which made problems seeming so tough to endure like trifle which could be easily overcome. I got a feeling as if he knows everything (which he does anyways!), and is orchestrating the things to just pull me closer to him. The mild smile on the face of the lord not only is drop dead gorgeous to attract ones heart but it kill’s inner demon of anxiety too. I got a new ray of hope and understanding that Lord is eternal, I am eternal, the relationship between us is eternal and nothing of this world is matters beyond it, which allowed me to be equally serious in rediscovering and cultivating my relationship with him in troubling times too. 

And Srila Prabhupada confirms in Srimad Bhagavatam 3.28.32.

“The entire universe is full of miseries, and therefore the inhabitants of this material universe are always shedding tears out of intense grief. There is a great ocean of water made from such tears, but for one who surrenders unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the ocean of tears is at once dried up. One need only see the charming smile of the Supreme Lord. In other words, the bereavement of material existence immediately subsides when one sees the charming smile of the Lord.”

Putting my own experiences in a small composition...

I stagger and fall

I halt and crawl

With my wicked nature

Often I lose a brawl

It seems so difficult,

A losing chase,

High ideals of devotional service

How do I embrace?

In such a state,

I stand on a bifurcated road,

One side, your smiling face,

On other side, glimmer of Maya’s abode.

But I try to remember words, my masters have told,

Hidden behind your smiles are treasures of bliss untold

And the glimmer of Maya what unfolds,

Is an ugly reality and relations are so cold.

With some faith I aspire to take

Few more steps,

To be closer to you

To be your pet, to be your mate.